Inspired Book Coaching

4, 3, 2, 1 - K’s Ethical Will

What I Have Learned

Native American wisdom says that the learning isn’t complete until it’s passed on. As I near the completion of my journey, I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned.

Gemstone attributes are recalled with the four C’s: cut, clarity, color, and carats. These result in sparkle and shine, but to bring these to their best requires a master craftsman, and I’m more of a do-it-yourself kind. I want to be a geode. Solid and strong on the outside and sparkly and beautiful on the inside. A geode’s beauty isn’t fully revealed until it’s cracked open. More on the cracking later. Back to the four C’s.

The four C’s for geode me are: connect, contribute, cope, and create. These are my cardinal directions; if you prefer, my North, East, South, and West — they can take me anywhere.

The four C’s help me seek the three things I’ve wanted in this life:

Meaningful relationships - (connect, contribute)
Meaningful work - (contribute, create)
Meaningful health - (cope, connect)

Two things that I value:

• Kindness. It’s necessary for meaningful relationships and good connection. Kindness leads to the fifth C—contentment. And, like happiness, kindness requires discipline and deliberate practice (especially of empathy and generosity).

• Independence. This requires:

Health—maybe our most valuable resource.
Strength and balance—as I’ve aged, strength and balance have become important.

Resiliency. The ability to get back to center after something knocks into you. It’s easier to knock over a top that’s spinning down. At the end of the spin, tops move slower and wobble more. The slightest tap or a strong exhale in their direction can cause them to topple and stop. A top that spins faster can take a few hits. We’re like tops. We need to keep moving. Stay as active as you can. Do what it takes. Learn to name your emotions and reframe.

One thing that has helped me with all of the above: direct, honest feedback from those who love me. (Feedback from those who want to cut you down to make themselves feel larger is rarely valid. It’s usually more about them than about you. There may be a seed of truth, but it’s better to get feedback from loving critics.)

A message to my loving critics: I know I’m not always as receptive to your criticism as I would like, and perhaps not as much as you would like. I expect this is frustrating. But, please know that I keep coming to you because I know I need your perspective. I value your feedback (even if I don’t always react as well as we’d like). Thank you for your help. You’ve made me a better geode.

Something magical happens when you work with a book coach! At Inspired Book Coaching we help authors do their best work!

www.inspiredbookcoaching.com • Glenelg, MD 21737 • Phone: 410 531-1396 • Email: bokdreki@gmail.com